Sex Therapy: What is it and Types

People usually think about sex as a physical thing that happens with our bodies, however much of our sex life occurs in our brains.

Sexual health refers to physical, mental, emotional, and social well-being in relation to one’s sexuality. It is essential for well-being, general health, and overall quality of life. Sex therapy can treat a wide spectrum of needs including sexual dysfunction, mismatched desires, mismatched libidos, sexual trauma, and more.

What is Sex Therapy?

Sex therapy is a type of therapy used for an individual or a couple with the goal of helping them obtain a more fulfilling sex life. Physical, psychological, and emotional factors can all cause sexual challenges.

While couples often turn to sex therapy because of sexual dysfunction or when some part of their sexual relationship is off, it can also be used as a tool to keep the intimate connection between partners strong.

Who Needs Sex Therapy?

When it comes to sex, there’s no “normal”. Everyone has different expectations. Sex therapy is helpful for anyone who has an issue affecting their sex life. If you are unsatisfied with your sex life in any way, sex therapy can make a difference.

Sexual Dysfunction

People experiencing sexual dysfunction will benefit the most from sex therapy.

There are 4 different types of sexual dysfunction. Sex therapy can help people with any of the following:

• Desire Disorders

Lack of sexual desire or general interest in sex

• Arousal Disorders

Difficulty becoming physically aroused during sex

• Orgasm Disorders

Delay or absence of climax

• Pain Disorders

Physical pain during intercourse

Sexual Trauma

Sexual trauma damages your relationship with sex. A non-consensual sexual experience can leave people feeling violated, afraid, or ashamed. Sexual trauma can greatly interfere with someone’s ability to enjoy sex, especially if they’re dealing with PTSD. Sexual trauma can also decrease interest in sex altogether.

If you’ve experienced sexual trauma, sex therapy can help you:

• Work towards sex positivity
• Separate your trauma from sex
• Make sex less triggering
• Develop a healthy libido

Sexual trauma can significantly affect someone’s mental health. It’s important to process the trauma in order to heal. Therefore, researchers believe it’s best that people who’ve experienced sexual trauma seek individual therapy first.

Sex Therapy for Everyone

Sex therapy can also benefit those without problems but who want to get the most out of their sexuality. Really, it’s for anyone who wants to improve their relationship with sex and pleasure. Sex is still a taboo topic for a lot of people. Therapy can help you and your partner have more open and honest conversations surrounding sex. The more you talk about sex, the better it can get.

You don’t need to be in a relationship to find sex therapy useful. Individual sex therapy will focus on building confidence with your sexuality. In addition, you may work through any past trauma, and learn how to express your sexual desires. Your therapist can help you address questions surrounding body issues, messages you received from your culture or family about sex, and receiving proper sex education. They will help you identify and understand the factors most affecting your sex drive, satisfaction, and openness to intimacy with future partners.

Different Types

Sex therapy is not all the same. And within each type, there are different approaches and techniques that therapists use in order to properly help each unique couple and/or individual.

Sex Therapy

Sex therapy is usually done with a licensed psychotherapist who also specializes in sexual issues. Sex therapy will help improve communication skills with your partner. Communication affects every aspect of your relationship, including sex. You and your partner will share concerns, wants, and desires in order to get to a place where you align better sexually. You will work through your past experiences and traumas, as well as body image issues, low self esteem, negative messages, and other factors which may be affecting your sexual drive and sexual satisfaction. In sessions, the therapist might meet with each person individually as well as together as a couple. Sex therapists can recommend homework but will not usually be hands-on with clients.

Sensate Focus

Sensate focus is a technique that consists of a series of touching exercises that a couple completes in a sequence. Couples might be assigned sensate focus as homework. The goal is to explore pleasure and find the blocks preventing pleasure. Sensate focus believes it’s important to establish mutual responsibility for addressing sexual needs and concerns. This means there is not one partner who is to blame for any issues occurring in the sexual relationship.

Somatic Sex Therapy

Also known as somatic sex education, somatic sex therapy is a type of therapy that works to resolve sexual issues in a more practical way. Somatic, meaning body, is a type of therapy that believes in a whole-body approach to healing. It emphasizes awareness of the body through experiential exercises. It is an effective way to relieve sexual dysfunction that stems from sexual trauma.

Somatic sex therapy sessions include exploration of body awareness, breathing exercises, body movement, boundary-setting, communication, sensate focus, massage, and erotic trance. After taking part in somatic sex therapy sessions many clients report feeling more sensually awakened and empowered. In addition to the physical component, somatic sex therapy uses some cognitive-behavioral therapy methods as well.

Tantric Bodywork or Tantric Massage

Tantra is an ancient art of intimacy derived from Hindu beliefs. Tantric bodywork is a type of therapy that uses massage to remove blockages. Tantric massage involves the entire body, including your intimate areas. The goal of tantric bodywork is to awaken your sexual energy, deepen the intimacy between you and your partner, and increase mindfulness of sexual pleasure and your body.

Sexological Bodywork

In this type of therapy, the person serves as an educator and uses bodywork to provide one-way direct touch to the genitals, usually to help with problems like pain during sex or issues with masturbation or climaxing. Clients must consent before being touched and remain fully clothed.

Sex Surrogate Therapy or Surrogate Partner Therapy

Sex surrogate therapy is a type of therapy designed to help a person become more comfortable with sex, their body, and/or the emotional and physical skills necessary for intimacy by engaging in sexual activity. Sex surrogate therapy always includes two other people: a licensed sex therapist and a sex surrogate. The sex surrogate may engage in two-way touching or sex with the client. Usually, the client is referred to a sex surrogate after the therapist deems it helpful for the individual. The sex surrogate serves as a safe partner for which the client can practice techniques and other skills to increase comfortability with intimacy.

Sexual Education

Sexual education is not therapy, but it is another way to help you with your sex life by giving you more knowledge about sex. These experts have varied backgrounds, usually with a masters or PHD in human sexuality. The goal is to arm you with accurate information. Sexual education also works to dispel the many myths about sex that exist in the culture.

What is a Sex Coach?

There can be some confusion as to whether you should see a sex therapist or a sex coach. While there is some overlap, they are not the same. A therapist would start by discussing your history in order to find causes that explain current behavior. Sex coaches on the other hand help clients in a more practical, forward-facing way.

Sex coaches are typically not licensed, so although working with them can be therapeutic, it is not therapy. You can think of a sex coach as someone who works with you to achieve your sexual goals for the future. Many sex coaches take a holistic approach. Some coaches are bodyworkers or somatic healers. Coaches can take a more hands-on approach through exercises that involve touching the client.