In many cases, your partner’s body language is more important than their words.
In a strong relationship, we’re deeply connected to and interdependent on our partners—which makes us very sensitive to their body language. And this is no small thing; our nonverbal messages can be even more powerful than our words. The automatic, emotional side of our brain is constantly checking out our partner for signs of safety. Seeing something on our partner’s face, the look in their eyes, or the tone of their voice can make us feel cared for—or set us off.
Because this process is fast, innate, and mostly unconscious, we can easily misinterpret it. Even if we’re great at labeling our partner’s nonverbals—knowing he’s surprised, for instance—our interpretations could make or break what happens next. (“Does his irritated tone of voice mean he’s angry about my important request, or is he preoccupied with his tough day at work?”) Couples counseling can help you demystify your partner’s cues and read them in a way that improves your communication and enhances your connection.