In some ways, our nonverbal communication is more powerful than our words.

Though many couples think that what they say is the most important thing for their partner, Gal Szekely discusses why the delivery of what you’re saying is more important than the verbal message itself.

The delivery is non-verbal communication, and being able to hear non-verbal communication is known as attunement. Attuning is how you connect to what people are really saying with their body language, their hand gestures, and the overall message their energy sends off.

For example, you might say, “I love you,” when you are very angry with your partner – and even if you really do love your partner deeply, your partner will not feel that love and question the validity of your words.

While verbal communication is imperative for any healthy relationship, physical body language is just as important. At the end of the day, it’s not what you say, but how you say it. According to this YourTango panel of relationship experts—including our very own Gal Szekely—how you carry yourself can make a major impact on not only your intimate relationships, but on how the world sees you.

What, exactly, does “body language” consist of, and how do you learn to recognize (and manage) its cues? Find out in this video with Gal (starting at 0:22), along with YourTango’s Senior VP Melanie Gorman, author Dr. Sue Johnson, Dr. Rita DeMaria, and Marni Feuerman. Check it out and give us your thoughts!

And, if you need more of these tips along with some practical, hands-on tools, join Gal and Liron this summer for Love Made Simple: A Weekend Workshop for Couples Who Want More. Relationships take maintenance, and no one’s given you the manual—until now. In just two days, you’ll rediscover your partner and greatly expand your potential as a couple. Register today!