How To Achieve Good Work-Life Balance In A Marriage Relationship

You value both your career and your marriage, but oftentimes it seems like you have to pick one to focus on and let the other suffer. However, it is possible to have a healthy balance of each.

Balancing your career and your marriage is no easy feat. The work/life balance is a careful dance that takes intentionality and commitment. But if you can master it, you can have a thriving career and marriage!

What Are Some Signs That You Need To Work On Your Work-Life Balance?

• You Bring Work Home

Are you regularly checking emails or sending work messages from home? Are you distracted at dinner or on your laptop when it’s “movie time”? Many of us work from home these days, but that doesn’t mean you should be working at all hours.

• You’re Constantly Talking About Work

Is work your go-to topic? Do you find yourself weaving it into most conversations? Pretend you’re meeting someone at a party. What would you tell them about yourself – would it be mostly work-related?

• Work Affects Your Well-Being

Is a good day or a bad day for you dependent on how work goes that day? Do you find that it affects your mood, especially if something bad happens and it sticks with you after work? Think about whether you’re enjoyable to be around after a not-so-good day at work. What about your coping strategies after work?

• Work Tends To Take Priority

Are you hesitant to take time off for important appointments like the doctor or dentist? Are you unwilling to move things around once in a while for the important people in your life, like a school play or birthday?

• Your Social Life Lives At Work

The only time you are social is when talking to coworkers. Getting together with people outside of work has become a thing of the past. It might feel easier to relate to your coworkers because you can talk about work.

So What Are Some Tips For Achieving Work-Life Balance In Marriage?

While good communication brings people closer together, bad communication does the opposite. Over time, the distance can become painfully great.

There’s no denying the importance of work. It pays the bills (and everything else.) And it’s good to be committed to your job, passionate, and hardworking. These things often translate to positive qualities in a partner. But no matter how demanding your career is, work is never a reason to neglect your marriage.

Consider the following tips to help you balance your career and marriage:

Create Boundaries

Healthy boundaries are essential in a relationship and can help you find a balance between love and work. Set boundaries with your partner by communicating what you need. You may need quiet time in the morning to meditate. Perhaps you ask your partner not to text you during the work day so that you can focus but agree to call during a break. You and your partner may agree to a rule of no phones after 5 pm, for example.

Maintain A Recurring Date Night

Establish one night a week that’s for you as a couple. When it’s on the calendar, it’ll allow you to organize your week and it’ll give you something to look forward to. It doesn’t have to be a fancy dinner out. It could be playing a board game in your pajamas at home. Date nights are about spending uninterrupted time together. Relationship expert John Gottman recommends at least 2 hours once a week to connect, chat, dream, plan, and enjoy each other’s company.

Keep Your Partner In The Know

If you know next week will be a busy week for you, let your partner know. It’s better to inform them beforehand so that they can anticipate what that will look like with their schedule. You could keep a calendar (physical or digital) where you put work commitments like conferences, evening meetings, and so on. This will allow your partner to know what’s around the corner so that they can support you during busier times and vice versa.

Divide Household Chores

There’s nothing worse than ending a day of work only to start another type of work at home. Cooking and cleaning shouldn’t be one person’s burden if you’re in a partnership. If you practice a “divide and conquer” approach, you’ll have more time to spend together in the evening.

Make Your Time Count

Since you live busy lives, making the most of your time together is crucial. That means getting rid of distractions and being tuned in to your partner. Active listening is a great way to connect with your partner. It’s simply about being present and showing interest and care. Allow your partner to talk without interrupting. Make eye contact, smile or gently touch them to signal you are there with them. Ask questions and validate their feelings.

Figure Out What Work Means To You

Reflect on the importance of work for you. What does your work represent to you? Is it about the paycheck, or is it the validation and self-worth? Figuring this out will help you discover what your values are, which in turn help you decide what your boundaries are. Doing this is sure to improve your well-being. You may see that you can achieve these feelings you seek elsewhere, like through your relationship.

Have Regular Check-Ins

No matter how hectic things are, you can (and should) always make time for emotional check-ins. In fact, when your schedule is packed, check-ins are most important because you’re more likely to miss something. Take a step back to discuss how each of you is feeling about the relationship. How is your connection? Are your needs being met? Do you feel seen and supported by the other person? What are things each of you can do to further the connection?

Don’t Discuss Work On Hangouts

Work is the easiest topic to discuss because it takes up the majority of your days. And it makes sense to share your life with your partner. But it’s important not to bring it up too often. Remember that work is about you, and not your relationship. Refrain from talking about work when you are spending quality time with your partner. Allow that time to be about you and your relationship.

Discuss Long Term Goals Together

Create a list of dreams and goals with your partner. Talk about the thighs you’d like to do as a couple. What are you saving up for – both fun and productive? Whether a trip or a home improvement project, planning something big you’re both looking forward to can help connect work to your relationship.